Volunteer in Ruse (8)

The day of the carnival started with an unexpected Basarbovski pass by where we've been encountered with bread and natural honey to celebrate a new baptized child. The cold and sweet water from the fountain accomplished all the ritual and we revived ourselves. Up again, I took a big hug from my Andreea, some crumbly stones from the chalk walls and all the release I could. Healing, but not praying. On the way back we had a city view from the television tower hill. I let myself blown by wind while looking for the beauty of it. One short back laying while music was playing and we turned back to prepare ourselves for the parade.

We were all beautiful and happy at the carnival. Alladin, the Prophet, The Red Riding Hood, Robin, the witch, the pirate, the cowboy, Polish girls, Roman woman, Scottish girl and many others were dancing unleashed on the streets. Colored balloons, fanfare music, laughing, singing, running, dancing again and that was it: a colored and happy storm in a glass of water. I was already feeling the bitterness of the end, but I tried to keep it far away. We all met near the Liberty Square at the sunset and we continued our lasciviousness, dances, taking photos, madness, dizziness and desires. I left all of this at one point, but my absence got noticed. 

 

 

 

Entering the scene a drunk mad man keep bringing out the truth inside. A drunk mad man only in his underpants, eating fries and shouting about all that he felt in that angry moment. A drunk mad man transformed into a vulnerable one, wanted to be caressed. A drunk mad man telling a truth he won't remember, felling asleep like any.

24th... finally discovering Ruse in all its hidden corners. Just met Romanian Masca Theater here after I first recognized some photos of them taken by someone I know. I went to one of the actors looking like a sad clown, smoking a cigar deep in his thoughts to ask when the show will begin. He subtle covered his surprise. At 7 p.m. the living statues, at 9 p.m. Baroque Bizarres he said. Beautiful man! I was far in my mind while watching their street representation in the evening. The same when we went to have a cocktail at Aleksandar Batenberg Square. My Sex on the beach was very bad. All my memories from the previous weeks coming over and over were the best. How strange the ways you follow end in the same point sometimes! I left that terrace with stolen Coca Cola table message, Bulgarian colors straws and yellow flower. Hmm! The sunset was orange on 24th, the harmonica gentle touched my ears. I met the man with the guitar again. The same Nothing Else Matters. I respect him a lot and I have the feeling I know him from somewhere else. He seems so shy and powerful. Big lungs he has. Words are flying around me, but I am in my own world.


That morning I started with a good bye hug for Vincent, some gymnastic and hardly cleaning my apartment. Then escaped the streets. I think now I know all the shoe stores from this city, even the entire amount of stone jeweleries from a just found shop. I am mostly the opposite of a museum addicted, but I enjoyed the time spent in Eco-Museum and Aquarium. I can not tell why because all was dead inside from animals to objects, excepting fish, a snake, some turtles and us. Maybe because I found vinyls, radios, music instruments, photo cameras, glass bottles, sewing machines, cassette recorders, ships, TVs, old all of them. Or maybe because the mammoth smelt awful or because of the conserved bats and worms that were disgusting.

New streets, new old buildings, sun and heat, half of a Kamenitza and a not so pleasant coconut cake, sitting on a bench and watching Ruse lifestyle. Both of us went dizzy, but got encouraged. Talking about music, influential people in our lives, ex boyfriends, books, who we were before Ruse.


Wind of change was on radio in the SH we found a crazy jacket for none of us. Passenger into my room, passenger into my life, passenger into the other lives. Passenger into my favorite place here - BH Library (un)coffee place. Writing, listening, imagining, story telling, dreaming, watching, hugging, sleeping, relaxing, learning, all happened here. Wednesday 24th I was browsing Vincent van Gogh and Monet paintings albums, some Bulgarian historical battles cards, Klimt also. Fugitive report of last days.

23rd was about waking up for a 3 or more hours coffee break in front of our building. Sun bath, still wet grass, future books, Fornetti, University, empty hurting feet, still discovering the beautiful, recognizing the lady from the yesterday second shop. And about exercising swimming at Nord Pool or me turning into purple from the shirt I sat on. In the evening, I went out with Romanian girls for cradling, drinking bad wine and eating delicious pancakes with ice cream. Someone was waiting for us back home, so we passed by. I saw on a bench that lady I met in the park we cleaned two weeks ago. The same power in her look made me feel the desire to know her better.


22nd started with a walk on the Danube River shore. As we were only girls, I could swear that the man turning his head over and over was hunting for us. Nothing happened but a few unanswered calls. All the sand statues were damaged, but still looked great. We met a Bulgarian old man knowing some Romanian, which we found on the streets with tiny and doubtful houses. I am very enchanted by this dusty Ruse, with all his peeling walls. New York second hand turned me back to the colors I lost home, in my closet. Thank God I met my colors again because I brought here the simplest clothes I have (unspeakable me), the opposite of the colored I am in my daily life. You know, I am trying to change myself too much not to be judged by the others. Cruel mistake. Inside, I discovered such a beautiful lady with white hair, wearing a big white hat and trying on a lot of pink clothes. My fries from the lunch were... well... bad again, but I was already lost in my happiness. Back home I cooked something and I received the best I could: Vince and Silvia asked for the second plate. In the evening, we went again to Danube river. The light was drawing auras all around. The grass was flooded by golden last rays. A man sat near his bike in this magnificent sunset, reading a book. He was amazingly beautiful. We ran down the hill like children and I felt that happy in that moment that I started talking with Nature. Or God. Or Love. After this I rapidly ran empty inside and gone away from the others, from their jokes and presence. Back in the flat, we had a fight for ideas which made me feel so alive. And I heard from my room that nervous glass kicking!

21st was the rainiest day here. I spent my morning in the balcony with the boys. Talking, talking, talking. I didn't want all of this to end, but then two of them left. I felt so alone that day! We cooked some pasta and ate after, then watched videos, debating art and lost life, listening to music with translations, sharing culture. Outside it was still raining. Back in the girls room felt alone again, though we were a few doing whatever it takes to make it better. Nothing was in the right place from my point of view. When the evening came, we watched a movie and after had the best night walk. What a night with orange clouds, sexy black pants, telling secrets and listening to some fantastic great stories from the deep of a creative one. The park was silent and fresh, wet and mysterious, dark and lightened in the same time.